Shine bright
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My night and morning in a masterpost. I just needed this all together coz I need this whole thing saved if ever I need a quick laugh, albeit a guilty embarrassed one. Just.

Bonus: 

i am still so so so so so so so so so so sorry to thorgasmed and their compromised commute i wish you all the luck in the world and i’m really really really really sorry for my odd pride in this just.

So sorry.

Link to the fic: [x]

chemicaldarkshine:

hardestcopy:

bijou1986:

A Mom went to have dinner with her son who lives with his roommate.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how handsome his roommate was. She had been suspicious about her sons sexuality but being a good mother she felt that he would let her know if and when the time was right but seeing the two together just made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the interaction between the two she wondered even more if there was more here than meets the eye. Her son, sensing his mothers watchfully eye volunteered, “really Mom, I can tell what you’re thinking and you can just get it out of your mind, we are just roommates and nothing more”.

About a week later the roommate remarked, “ever since your mother was here the silver serving platter has been missing, do you think she took it?”

He responded, “Well I’m sure she didn’t but I will email her and ask just to be sure” he sat down and wrote:

Hey Mom
I’m not saying you did take the silver platter from the house and I am not saying you didn’t take it but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Your Son.

A couple days later he got a response from his mother:

Dear Son,
I am not saying that you do sleep with your roommate and I am not saying that you don’t sleep with him and you know I love you and could care less either way but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the platter under his pillow.
When are the two of you coming for dinner?
Love,
Mom

image

BEST MOM

I’m crYING

ultrafacts:

Source

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i-sucked-dick-on-accident:

allhailtaytay:

prasm:

busket:

engarde-fuck-boy:

kill-of-la-hill:

2014 confirmed for year of massive redesigns.

NOT MY CHRISTIAN VEGETABLES

also

don’t forget

OMG!

WHO FUCKED UP MY CHRISTIAN VEGETABLES

Cigarettes didn’t phase me, cuts didn’t scare me, drugs didn’t need me but god I went an hour without you and I finally realized what addiction was like
addiction (via pillsand-coffee) ←

phanphanphan:

you know when you try to keep yourself from sounding disappointed and then your voice does the wobbly thing and fuCK

onlylolgifs:

baby arctic fox tries to eat a man alive